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Telling Tales Outside of Class


The Bathtub Sailor

The scene is the Senior Class Trip, The World's Fair, African Pavilion Restaurant.  Two of Lee's most virtuous Senior girls, Sonya Polifka and Mary Ann Ryan, both being possessed of whimsical nature and innocent minds, "pick up" a young sailor named Bill Wizner, who hailed from some place north of Virginia.  He was a very nice young man and seemed to be fit company for such decent young ladies, in spite of his being a sailor in the U.S, Navy.  Said two Senior girls and the sailor spent the afternoon and evening enjoying the sights and experiences of the exhibits and events of the Fair.  As evening set in and the two young ladies were required to be elsewhere, the conversation turned to plans for later and these two terribly virtuous young ladies announced their desire and intent to attempt a trip to Saint Patrick's Cathedral for Midnight Mass.  Given the fact that such an excursion was not on the pre-planned activity list and moreover was well beyond the curfew decreed by the chaperones, discussion ranged toward the clandestine -- how such a thing could be "pulled off" safely (i.e., without detection).  The young sailor felt very strongly that it was unwise, and indeed unsafe, for two young ladies to go alone abroad on the streets of New York at midnight so he, as a gentleman, offered himself as escort.

The plan was hatched.  After the approved evening's activities, both Sonya and Mary Ann retired appropriately to their shared room in the hotel, while the young sailor stood outside in a light drizzle.  When no one was watching, the girls waved the sailor   into the hotel off the street.  Anticipating a bedcheck by Mrs. Thackston, one of the unsuspecting chaperones, Sonya and Mary hid the sailor in the bathtub, behind the shower curtain.   They crawled into their beds, dressed to go to church, and pulled the covers up tight, waiting for Mrs. T.  The third roommate in the hotel room was absent -- Pillows took her place in her bed.  Sure enough, Mrs. T checked, but left as soon as she was sure the two trouble-free teens and their cheerleader roommate were tucked safely in bed.  As the sound of the chaperone receded down the hallway, Mary Ann and Sonya rescued the unnerved, but still game, sailor from the bathtub, left the hotel, and virtuously went to Midnight Mass at St. Patrick's, secure in the knowledge that they were escorted by one of America's finest. 

After Mass, the fine young sailor walked the girls back to the hotel, waited in the rain downstairs on the sidewalk, watching their bedroom window until he received the "signal," and left, with a promise to meet them the next day during their "free time" at the top of the Empire State Building, after which he would treat them to a tour of his ship, the USS Forrestal.  The signal?  Well, Sonya and Mary Ann waved several pieces of Lindi Smith's clothing out the window.  After the sailor left, the girls decided that the only fitting end to the whole affair was to hide Lindi's clothes, tell her about their escapade, and "confess" to dropping her things out the window while signaling the sailor that all was clear!  So it went for Sonya and Mary Ann.  No one has yet discovered what Lindi was doing during all that missing time.